Last night I couldn’t sleep.
Laying in bed, I thought of my childhood. I was a very shy kid, painfully shy. My shyness hindered me from trying new things and doing what I wanted. To sum it up, shy also equaled fear. I was shy because I was afraid.
I also thought of all the things I wanted to do during these past couple of months, none of which accomplished. I tried to rationalize the reasons for my incompetence but I soon realize I was making up excuses. Sure, some could be considered legitimate but in all, they were still excuses.
One of the things that I have wanted to do is record my thoughts. I want to write again.
As of right now, I am a struggling college student trying to find my role in society. I’m going back to school, after a two month break. Anxiety fills my every thought. I am at a point in my life where I feel out of control in every possible situation. My main concern is finding my career; I honestly have no idea what I want to do with my life. I have so many interests and there are so many possibilities. I am really conflicted.
All my life, I’ve been somewhat afraid. Scared to speak and scared to do. I’m learning new life lessons every day. And what I’ve learned recently is to be unafraid, to try. I should do what I want, do what I feel, and take a courageous step. Like Nike says, “Just Do It”. This is probably one of the most cliché sayings, but when put into a certain situation it is actually difficult; especially in my case. I’ve always doubted and I’ve always been afraid. I’m learning to take charge of my life. Things won’t get done unless I do something about it. Instead of daydreaming, do something about it.
So, I’m starting this blog. Here, I’ll post my interest and things that I’ve done that will document my growth as a person and (hopefully) bring me closer to finding myself. I’ve had a blog before, but once again I was too afraid to really write anything.
Cheers to new beginnings, trying new things, and staying unafraid.